Does Heaven Exist?
by G-21
Summary: From the moment he laid eyes on him, Mitani knew that he wanted him. Warning: unconventional pairing. ToyaMitani.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

WARNING: This fic is shota-con! Please do not read if you do not like this pairing! Please read with utmost discretion!

Pairing: Toya Koyo/Yuki Mitani

A/N: If you're wondering - yes, I probably am sick, so sue me! I can write whatever pairing I like and I like this pairing!

* * *

**Tengoku ga aru ka?/ Is there a heaven?**

(Reminder: Please read the **WARNING** before reading this story)

The dinner table at the Toya household was quite crowded even though another table had been added to accommodate all the guests invited to celebrate Toya Koyo's birthday.

There was Toya-sensei's immediate family which consisted of his wife, Akiko and his only son, Akira. Then there was Amano, the editor of Pro Go Weekly and a long-time acquaintance of Koyo's.

Beside Amano sat Ogata Judan and Ashiwara Sandan, both students of Toya Koyo's discussion group. Next to Ashiwara was Kuwabara Honinbou, Ichiryuu Kisei, Kurata Nanadan; all pros of the go world who had been on good terms with the retired Meijin. Zama Ouza had been deftly left out.

Completing the circle was Shindo Hikaru, a mere shodan; a friend of Akira's and perhaps his rival. While Akiko walked in and out of the kitchen serving her guests with hot green tea and plenty of her sumptuous traditional Japanese cooking, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," offered Akira, leaving the table and an argument he had started between Hikaru and himself concerning their game not two hours ago at the Go Salon.

Akira pressed the button of the intercom to enquire who was at the gate. Another professional go player wanting to wish his father a good year perhaps?

"It's Yuki Mitani," said the person on the other end of the intercom. "I've come to wish Koyo-sensei happy birthday."

Akira let the orange-haired boy in and led him to the dining room where the conversation had increased in volume.

"Otou-san," said Akira over the chatter made boisterous by the introduction of some cold sake. "There is someone here to see you."

"Mitani!" exclaimed Hikaru, with half of a prawn tempura hanging out of his mouth. "What are you doing here?"

"None of your business," replied Mitani in his usual cold nonchalant manner. He turned towards Toya Koyo, whose eyes were dead set on his being.

"I knew you would come," said the ex-pro.

Mitani returned the cold stare evenly and bowed deeply. "Otanjobi omedetto, Koyo-sensei."

"Arigato gozaimasu," replied the ex-Meijin respectfully. "Why don't you sit down and join us for dinner? We haven't even reached dessert yet."

Mitani shook his head. "Thanks for the offer. But I have other business to attend to."

"Like what?" asked Hikaru curiously. "We already graduated from school so we don't have any homework any more."

"I have to go home and pack," said Mitani coolly, his tone betraying nothing but indifference. "I'll be leaving soon after all."

"Leaving? Where are you going?" asked Akira.

"America. My family's migrating there so I have to follow them."

"You're leaving?!" yelled Hikaru. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

Even though it had been Hikaru who had voiced the questions, Mitani looked at straight at Toya Koyo, his eyes unwavering with resolution set deep in them.

"I told you," said Mitani expressionless. "I told you I was leaving. I have to go. See you around, Shindo." He bowed at Toya Koyo again. "Ja mata ne, Koyo-sensei."

Then with a respectful nod of the head towards Akiko as she stepped into the room with more sushi, Mitani left.

* * *

It all started five months ago. And Mitani didn't even know Toya Koyo back then. He knew his name, but to Mitani, Toya Koyo had only been the father of Hikaru's friend.

Did Mitani know Toya Koyo used to be a professional go player? No. Did Mitani know that Toya Koyo held five titles including Meijin before he retired? No. Did Mitani know that Toya Koyo was considered the best go player in Japan, the closest person to achieve Kami no Itte and filthy rich? Frankly – no.

But Mitani fell in love with him all the same – almost inevitably Mitani fell in love with a man old enough to be his father, who had a lovely wife and son, and had no intention of taking on another lover – much less a 17-year old male one.

Needless to say, Mitani had a hell of a hard time dealing with his emotions, which was why in the end; he decided to follow his family to America.

Thinking back on his story, Mitani could have placed the blame on Hikaru if he wanted to. If it wasn't for Hikaru, Mitani would have never known Toya Koyo.

"Are we lost/ Mayo tan desu ka?" asked Mitani as Hikaru led him through the labyrinth of the neighbourhood.

"We're lost, aren't we/ Mayo tan desu ne?" said Mitani, as Hikaru kept up making random turns left and right, causing them to end up in the same place.

"We're so lost / Mayo tan da," said Mitani with a sigh. Why did he trust his friend to lead the way in the first place? He should've known that Hikaru was unreliable in every aspect, except go.

They were looking for their friend's house somewhere in the middle of this enclosed neighbourhood. But Hikaru lost the map and now, they couldn't find their way out of the labyrinth of corridors that made up the lanes between the Japanese bungalows.

Most of the houses in this neighbourhood still retained a traditional look and Mitani was willing to bet that most of these houses still used sliding doors and tatami mats. Not only that, but these houses cost a bomb to maintain.

"Ah, wait, I think I recognize this road!" exclaimed Hikaru. Mitani knew enough not to place high hopes on Hikaru any more but he followed his friend deeper into the labyrinth nonetheless. "One of my friends lives around here: Toya Akira."

Mitani searched his memory for any mention of Toya Akira. "Right, the go player. The one you keep talking about. He must be rich if his house is in this neighbourhood."

"Yeah, his father probably earned a lot from his past games," said Hikaru. "Here it is!" They arrived at what probably was the biggest house in the neighbourhood.

Mitani let his jaw hang a little until Hikaru pressed the intercom, requesting entry. "It's Shindo Hikaru. Can I see Toya. – uh – I mean, Akira-san."

The gate opened for him and Hikaru hopped in immediately, like he's been there plenty of times. Toya Akira met Hikaru at the front entrance.

"Yo Toya!" greeted Hikaru. "Sorry to bother you, but my friend and I got lost in your neighbourhood. Do you think you could show us a way out?"

Mitani regarded Toya Akira coolly. He looked like a normal pretty boy, albeit one with an odd hairstyle.

"Since you're here, why don't we have a game?" suggested Akira. Hikaru agreed immediately and Mitani had to clear his throat to remind his friend of his presence.

"Mitani doesn't mind," Hikaru added, much to Mitani's annoyance. What did he mean Mitani doesn't mind? Of course, he minded. He'd rather go and win some money off geezers at the new go salon in front of the train station.

But Hikaru and Akira had long disappeared into one of the many rooms in the big house. Mitani felt very miffed at being ignored just like that and wanted to leave. He was about to when someone spotted him.

"Excuse me, who are you and what are you doing here?"

The first thing Mitani noticed was the voice. It had a nice, deep tenor that induced a shiver within his young hormonal body. He turned around and saw a person who was definitely Toya Akira's father.

Despite knowing that straight away, Mitani felt attraction pull at his heart. The man had a serious face. Lines of age adorned it in the right places. And he had stern, piercing eyes of grey, that looked as if they could see through anything. A head of dark grey hair streaked with lighter shades of grey and a traditional hakama completed the man.

Mitani took a step back, feeling his face light up for no comprehensible reason. "Er – um – I'm a friend of Shindou's…"

"Oh, Shindou is here?" said the man. "I see. He's probably playing a game with Akira now." Mitani nodded, wondering if Hikaru playing go with Toya Akira was a common occurrence.

"Please come in," said the man. "I apologize if my son has been rude to you – not even offering you tea."

Mitani waved his hands quickly. "Oh, no, I don't really need tea." But the man didn't appear to have heard him so Mitani followed him into the sitting room quietly.

The floor was covered in tatami with a single low coffee table in the middle. Ink paintings were hung on the walls of the room, making Mitani feel he had entered the Heian era.

"Please sit down," the man invited, having seated himself before the table and was already pouring out tea into porcelain cups. "Have you been acquainted to Shindo for very long?"

"Not really," replied Mitani. "Three years, if you count this year." He sipped some of his tea and found it to be scalding hot. He dropped his cup in surprise and the hot tea spilled over his shirt. "Ow, hot!" he complained, quickly taking off his shirt.

At that moment, Toya Akira and Hikaru entered the room. "Otou-san do you know…" Akira forgot to end his sentence when he saw his esteemed father sitting opposite a bare-chested 17-year old boy who looked nonchalant despite the turn of events. "Otou-san?!" squeaked Akira.

"Akira, could you get a shirt for our guest?" said Akira's father. "He spilled tea on his."

"Right away!" Akira sped away, Hikaru closed behind him.

"Sorry to trouble you," mumbled Mitani sheepishly, "but you didn't have to ask your son to get a new shirt. I could have waited for mine to dry."

"I'm sorry," said the man. "I didn't get your name."

"Yuki Mitani," offered Mitani asked nonchalantly as he could. "Are you a go fanatic as well, otchan?"

The man widened his eyes, as though surprised at being called otchan. Mitani cursed his loose mouth. "Yes, I play go a lot. I used to play go for a living before I retired."

"Hmm," said Mitani thoughtfully. "I didn't know you could earn so much playing go."

"It's not how much you earn," said the man. "It's how much you can learn."

"Forget it, otchan," said Mitani. "My grandfather tried instilling manners in me before he passed away. That's why he taught me go. But it didn't work. Now go is a tool I use to trick money out of people."

The man narrowed his eyes slightly. Mitani wasn't perturbed. He didn't expect people to be accepting of his views and ways. He didn't care about other people. This man might be attractive, but he was no different.

"Then perhaps I should try teaching you the lesson your grandfather could not," said the man. "Would you care for a game?"

With a narrow of his eyes, Mitani accepted the game. Attractive or not, he hated presumptuous people and he was going to teach this man that nobody could change him.

* * *

How utterly wrong Mitani had been. Toya Koyo had indeed changed him beyond recognition; though not in the way the ex-pro had expected.

After that, Mitani continued to return to the Toya household to play with Toya Koyo. Not because he wanted to but Toya Koyo would request for him to return after every game.

The first few times, Mitani had rejected those invites vehemently. Then his will started to waver and his pride took a step backwards. It wasn't long before Akiko and Akira were on first name basis with him.

But underneath those games, Mitani could feel want stirring. With every game, Mitani felt the pull at his heart grow stronger. And he would wonder if Toya Koyo's repeated invites were not the devil's temptations.

* * *

Hikaru had heard that eye-drops look a lot like tears. And he wanted to try it out on Mitani. With Akira's help in holding Mitani down, Hikaru dropped some eye solution onto Mitani's cat-like eyes.

Mitani yelled something like "Fuck!" before breaking free off Akira's hold and running out of the room. His eyes were stinging and blinded from the eye solution that he couldn't see where he was going. He bumped straight into Toya Koyo.

The older man helped him up to his feet. The eye solution had dribbled from his eyes down his cheeks. Mitani's eyes were red.

Toya Koyo bent down and cupped Mitani's cheek gently, brushing the solution on his cheek with a thumb. "Why are you crying?"

Mitani's face exploded in red. He stepped back and ran away as quickly as his feet could take him. His heart was pounding, not from exhaustion but from excitement.

At the time, Mitani had conjured up an illusion of love; that perhaps Toya Koyo could one day return his feelings and see him beyond the games of go.

* * *

Go. That was all they ever did together. It was as if Toya Koyo cared more about Mitani's progress at go than Mitani himself. Then again, the idea wasn't entirely implausible.

"More shidogo?" asked Mitani without emotion during one of their sessions.

"You would not learn anything if I went all out on you," said Toya Koyo, placing another stone calmly on the goban. "It's your turn," he said after Mitani didn't response.

Seconds ticked away and still Mitani didn't make a move. Then he collected his backpack and stood up. "I'm going home."

"It's bad manners to leave in the middle of the game without resigning," replied the older man.

"Makemashita," said Mitani.

"Your tone is very disrespectful," said Toya Koyo level-headedly.

Mitani wanted to curse him. The swear words were at the tip of his tongue. He was this close to lashing out at the older man. But he refrained from saying all the evil words bubbling in his throat.

"I'm not coming back," said Mitani.

With that, he left, not daring to turn around to see how Toya Koyo had reacted to his words.

Two weeks later, Mitani found flowers on his grandfather's grave. When he went around all the florist shops, asking who had bought the flowers, he found out that it was Toya Koyo.

Mitani returned to the Toya house, demanding Toya Koyo for the reason behind his actions.

And all Toya Koyo had to say was, "I thought you won't be coming here any more."

Mitani wanted to scream at him; tear and ruin everything in the room; cause destruction; anything to get a rise out of the man and make him notice him.

"Would you care for a game?"

Mitani balled his hands into fists and blurted out, "I like you."

"Thank you," Toya Koyo replied in his usual calm manner.

"You don't understand," said Mitani. "I like you in a different way."

"Then I am flattered," said Toya Koyo smoothly. "Now, would you care for a game?"

Mitani now knew, without a doubt, that Toya Koyo did not see him beyond his go at all. No matter what he did, Toya Koyo only judged him by the level of his game.

"Fuck you," he said softly before fleeing from the Toya house, but realizing very quickly that he would return to Toya Koyo very soon. His mind was a slave to his heart.

* * *

There was one day when he could not take it any more. In the middle of a game, Mitani stood up and sat himself on Toya Koyo's lap.

He wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and kissed Toya Koyo.

The message should have been clear. A kiss on the lips only had one meaning. And yet, Mitani wondered if Toya Koyo had truly understood.

Toya Koyo broke their kiss gently and stroked his hair in a fatherly manner. Then he asked if Mitani would return to his side of the goban because the game was not yet over.

* * *

There had been several kisses after that. Every time, Mitani tried to gauge if Toya Koyo had even a speck of affection for him. Mitani would kiss him when he entered the room, or after their game, or whenever he was sure there was no one looking.

But Toya Koyo would only smile and never kiss back. He would stroke his hair in a tender manner and Mitani would wonder if he had sent the wrong signs.

To verify this, Mitani tried kissing another person. This person was Kaga Tetsuo. Mitani detested Kaga but Kaga had this roguish quality that attracted him all the same.

When Kaga visited the school one day, Mitani grabbed him and planted a kiss on his lips. Unlike Toya Koyo, Kaga kissed back fervently.

He pinned Mitani to the wall as they kissed and deftly led them into an empty classroom with the door locked behind him so that they wouldn't be disturbed.

That day, Mitani went from A to B and all the way to D. He lost his virginity on the chemistry lab table, groaning and moaning all the way.

There were no regrets. He did not care much about his virginity. But Kaga had helped affirm his suspicions.

He was not sending the wrong signals. Toya Koyo should've known what he was up to by now. So why didn't he reply in any kind? Why did he not response so that Mitani would have inkling as to what he thought about Mitani?

Several more kisses and Toya Koyo did nothing but offer tea and a game of go. And Mitani continued to consummate with Kaga until Kaga got together with Tsutsui and swore chastity.

* * *

Mitani had been invited to watch the Young Lions Tournament. Toya Koyo had asked him to come because there were many young people like him; many inseis; playing in that tournament.

Against his better judgement, Mitani decided to go. He stuck by Toya Koyo's side all the way, nodding occasionally when the older man saw fit to explain several moves on the goban.

Amano approached them, asking candidly about Mitani. Toya Koyo put a fatherly hand on Mitani and smiled. "He's my new student."

Mitani then realized that Toya Koyo did not take him seriously. Toya Koyo thought all those kisses were mere jokes.

That had been a very sad realization on Mitani's part. He loved Toya Koyo; he knew that now. But whenever Toya Koyo looked at him, he only saw a child.

* * *

"Mitani, your sister has got a good job offering in America," said his aunt. "We're all moving there for your sister's sake, but I know that your education is important. Do you want to stay here in Japan?"

"I'll go with you," he decided.

"Are you sure?"

"When will we be leaving?" asked Mitani.

"In a month's time."

* * *

The next day, Mitani went over to see Toya Koyo as he usually did. Toya Koyo repeated his question. "Would you care for a game?"

"I'm here to tell you that I'm not going to play you any more. I'm serious this time. So whatever intentions you had in playing me, you can forget them now."

"My, aren't you talkative today," said Toya Koyo. Mitani wanted to kill him.

"You're lucky. Were you my age, I would have hurt you and left you for dead in the alley," threatened Mitani.

"Did our games teach you nothing?" asked Toya Koyo sadly.

"No," hissed Mitani. "Our games taught me nothing! You have taught me nothing! I'm leaving and this time, I'm never coming back!"

Little did Toya Koyo know that Mitani was truly serious this time. Mitani did not bother telling him that he was moving to America. Because Toya Koyo did not care.

Mitani wiped his tears the moment they fell. Toya Koyo did not care.

* * *

Two weeks later, Mitani told Tsutsui who told Kaga. They agreed to help him pack his things a week before he left.

Tsutsui wanted to know why he didn't tell his current classmates about his move to America. If Mitani told any of his classmates, the news would reach Hikaru eventually. And Hikaru would inevitably tell Toya Akira who would inform Toya Koyo.

Mitani did not intend to let Toya Koyo know off his departure until his flight ticket was confirmed so that there would be no room for him to change his mind.

* * *

Mitani had been standing in front of the Toya house for more than five minutes now. There was an intense battle raging in his head. A part of him wanted to leave Japan without ever seeing Toya Koyo again. But the other part of him wanted one last look.

The young boy could hear cheerful laughter and happy chatter coming from inside the house. Should he destroy that with his gloomy mood? Should he intrude on Toya Koyo's birthday just to wish him 'happy birthday'?

Mitani held his breath and pressed the button of the intercom. One last time.

* * *

Hikaru knew the Go salon Mitani frequented at and was relieved to find Mitani there the morning after Toya Koyo's birthday. Mitani saw Hikaru entering his sanctuary and braced himself for the questions he knew would come inevitably.

"You could've told me ahead of time," said Hikaru. "I could help you pack your stuff too." Mitani didn't reply. "Toya-sensei asked if you could come over today."

"I'm busy," answered Mitani automatically. "And tell him that anything that had to be said between us has already been said. I'm not going there anymore."

Hikaru was silent for a few moments. "What happened?"

"Nothing." There was no way Hikaru would understand because Mitani's feelings weren't generally normal or even accepted in society. His move this time was for the best.

He had expected Hikaru to leave. Instead, the loud-mouthed boy took a seat opposite Mitani. "I heard that you were involved with Kaga. What was that about?"

Mitani chose purposely to not look at Hikaru, no matter how much trust he had in his own lying abilities. "I'm a teenager. I like sex. What else is there?"

"Is that why you're moving? Because Kaga got hooked up with Tsutsui?" asked Hikaru.

Correct motive, wrong target.

Mitani stood up to leave. Hikaru stood up quickly as well. "Can you follow me somewhere? There's something I want to show you."

Mitani glanced at Hikaru suspiciously but decided to follow anyway.

"By the way," asked Hikaru, "when are you leaving?"

The orange-haired boy grabbed his coat as he left the salon. "Tomorrow."

* * *

As it turned out, Hikaru was dragging him to the Go institute. Mitani asked many time but Hikaru wouldn't tell him what he wanted to show him.

They took the elevator together in silence, which was very odd on Hikaru's part. In retrospect, Mitani should have suspected something when he noticed Hikaru's silence. He shouldn't known that something was going on.

But when he finally figured out what Hikaru was trying to do, it was too late. Hikaru pushed him into one of the many rooms in the institute and locked the door from the outside.

"What the hell are you doing, Shindou?" yelled Mitani through the door. "I still need to finish up my packing!"

No matter how many times he punched the door, Hikaru refused to open it. Mitani sighed. "When I get out of here, you're dead!" he promised.

"But you can save that for later," said the other occupant of the room. "For now, will you pay attention to me?"

Mitani narrowed his eyes angrily. He had been aware of Toya Koyo's presence the moment Hikaru pushed him into the room. "What do you want with me?" Mitani asked rudely.

"Since you wouldn't come see me, I had to figure out a way to meet you," said Toya Koyo. "Although, this wasn't what I had in mind. Shindou said that he could persuade you to come see me, not force you here."

"What is it? Do you want a game with me before I leave or something?" demanded Mitani. "Because if that is it, I have better and more important things to do."

Toya Koyo sighed resignedly. "After all my efforts to educate you and still you remain stubborn."

"That's right, I'm just your bratty little student after all," Mitani prattled on. "Who would want me? Certainly not the great Toya Koyo."

"You know full well that's not how I feel about you," said the older man.

"Then how _do_ you feel about me?!" screamed Mitani. "Why don't you tell me because I really can't figure it out!" Mitani swallowed hard to keep his tears at bay. Out of all times, this would be the worst to look vulnerable. "I loved you, Koyo-sensei."

Toya Koyo slowly approached Mitani. The young boy shouted for Toya Koyo to stay away but the older man paid no heed to the order. The ex-Meijin backed the boy up against the wall, leaving Mitani's heart jumping like a rabbit on crack. "What are you doing?" Mitani demanded quietly.

There were no words. Toya Koyo tucked his fingers under Mitani's chin to lift the boy's face towards his. Mitani widened his eyes in disbelief. This could not be happening. But it was. Toya Koyo lowered his head and pressed his lips against Mitani's. Even through the haze of shock, Mitani pushed weakly against Toya Koyo's chest; a feeble attempt to reject what was happening.

Toya Koyo only deepened the kiss, inducing Mitani to close his eyes and wrap his hands around the other man. What was this? What was going on? Why was he kissing him? There were these questions and many more. But right now, there was only this. There was only this kiss and the promise of departure tomorrow.

This would be his last kiss with Toya Koyo.

All of a sudden, Mitani became ravenous. He pressed himself hard against Toya Koyo and tried to suck out the other man's soul through his lips. A few more moments, then Mitani wrenched himself away out of pure will. He realized that he was crying but the reason behind his tears was unclear.

Toya Koyo cupped his cheek gently and wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Why are you crying?"

Mitani was brought back to that similar situation several months ago. Only this time, his tears were genuine. There was real sadness behind them. "Why did you kiss me?"

The ex-pro ran his fingers through Mitani's hair, sending shivers down Mitani's back. Mitani noted that it wasn't the fatherly pat Toya Koyo used to use on him. There was nothing paternal about the way Toya Koyo was stroking his hair.

"Because you were leaving," said the mature man. "You were leaving and you didn't even give me a proper goodbye." Toya Koyo gathered Mitani in his arms and embraced him tightly.

Mitani bit his lip to stall of his oncoming tears. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Yes," said Toya Koyo.

"You knew I was in love with you."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you do anything before now?" demanded Mitani brokenly.

Toya Koyo broke their embrace and smiled at him. "Don't forget to visit me when you return to Japan next time."

* * *

That night, Mitani cried his heart out into his pillow. And the next morning, he boarded the plane to America with the rest of his family. Some of his friends and classmates had gone to see him off. Toya Akiko and Akira were there too. But Toya Koyo was nowhere in sight.

Mitani felt like his soul was somewhere else as he dragged his feet along the aisle, searching for his seat. His seat was separated from the rest of his family and he was seated further back in the plane. Oh well, at least he had a window seat.

The young boy took his seat and dumped his backpack in the seat next to him. There was nothing left now. After last night, his feelings were in a jumble and his heart was in a mess. He had to snap out of it. America was a chance for him to start over. Find some nice, young, unmarried, childless boy or girl who did _not_ play go, who would love him wholeheartedly.

Even as he entertained that thought right now, a part of him doubted that would ever work. Mitani brushed his fingers over his lips. He could still remember every detail of yesterday's kiss. Shit, his body felt as if it was on fire. Stupid hormones! Why couldn't he fall in love with a girl or something? Why did it have to be…

"Excuse me, but I believe that your bag is in my seat."

Mitani froze. He knew that voice! That deep tenor that still sent shivers through his body…Mitani turned. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

A smiling Toya Koyo picked up Mitani's bag and took his seat next to Mitani. "There is an amateur go tournament in America that I would like to participate in. I reckon that I'll be staying in America for several weeks, at least."

"…you idiot," said Mitani, for lack of things to say.

"How rude. Perhaps I should continue our lessons together," said the other man. Toya Koyo held Mitani's hand and squeezed it. "This time, I'll make sure that you learn something."

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know my writing is very sketchy. If you feel like flaming, go to hell. I already told you to read this at your own discretion. 


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